Secret Agent Paula
by crossed-lace
Summary: Feeling left out and stuck with a bout of insomnia Paula decides to check in on the boys in the dead of the night. She over hears something that will haunt her for the rest of her life, but is it really what she thinks it is? Rated T for Twist ending and implied fun Time via NessXJeff. A request that left my friend in tears, I hope it does the same for you.


Once Poo had joined the team Paula felt a bit out numbered. It was three to one and the femininity in the group was sorely lacking, she didn't really mind though. She might wear pink dresses and bows and carry around teddy bears, but she still packs a punch and could take on men twice her size. She was a bit disappointed when the boys decided it would be best if she slept in separate hotel rooms. As she lay awake at night she missed the boys' banter, sure they were trying to be courteous and giving her some lady time but what's the use if she's all alone? Paula didn't like being alone. She crawled back out of bed once sleep didn't come over her, even after the long day of travel. Slinking out of the door and into the hallway she crept towards the boys' room on her tip toes. She could see the light streaming out from underneath their door. They were awake! Paula puffed her cheeks out. It wasn't fair that she was missing out on all of the fun! What could the boys' be doing by themselves anyway? She leaned down and pressed her ear to the cold wooden door and cupped her hands so she could hear what was going on the other side better. When that didn't work she just lay down flat on the floor with her ear up to the door's crack. She could hear muffled words, and it sounded like someone was upset?

"…-Clean up after yourself!"

"Ness I'm working—"

Paula heard what sounded like a heated argument and she leaned in closer.

"Look, I do my thing at night okay? What's your problem?" Jeff sounded like he was getting defensive, but Paula could tell by his voice he was sort of intimidated. Jeff could easily be put down by Ness when Ness get's demanding.

"It sprayed out all over the floor! Can't you be a little cleaner? This hotel room is really expensive and if my dad's payin' for it I don't want to have to pay a large cleaning fee!"

What had Jeff spilled…?

"Guys I'm trying to meditate…" that was Poo's voice. He sounded tired.

"I was just testing it out, I hadn't done anything like that before…I just kept working and working it until it unexpectedly spurted all over the place!" Jeff sounded embarrassed and defensive. Hold on what were the boy's doing? Paula suddenly blushed furiously and had to purse her lips super tight so she wouldn't start giggling maniacally through the door crack.

Ness seemed to be angrily muttering something but Paula couldn't quite make out the words.

They both seemed to be having a heated exchange about the mess Jeff made while…while doing what exactly? Poo would sometimes interject and ask them to quiet down because "They had already done enough damage for one night"

Ness said something again and Paula could clearly hear Jeff give in "Fine!" he said.

"I'll go clean it up and try again!" Ness murmured in approval.

Paula strained here hearing and could hear Jeff panting on the other side of the door. He was exerting himself to do something in repeated motions. Paula suddenly felt like she was a little too young to be hearing this, so naturally she tried even harder to hear. Ness interrupted Jeff's grunts and pants to interject. "You're doing it wrong!"

"…What? I'm a grown boy I've done this plenty times before, contrary to your belief. I think I know what I'm doing!"

"Down on your knees! On all fours!" Ness barked.

Jeff heaved a sign and audibly groaned as he lowered himself onto what Paula ASSUMED was the floor at this point. Oh god what. Paula froze. This. This is not. She wasn't ready for this after all. She was to petrified to move out from under the door, at this point she was pretty sure her nose was peeking into the room.

Jeff growled Ness's name as the motion became quicker and quicker.

"You can do it harder than that! Come on!" Ness shouted.

Jeff's motions became so quick that the sounds blended in with one another and he finally hissed out a deep breath and sounded like he was slumping down on the floor.

"That wasn't so hard now, was it?" Ness asked, sounding a bit cocky.

Paula hurried back to her bed and locked the door. She hid under her covers that night.

Poo's POV

Poo had just been woken up from an unfortunate mechanical failure on Jeff's fault. After becoming inspired by the day's travel's as soon as Poo and Ness fell into a deep slumber Jeff took to his work as usual. Unfortunately Jeff's machine had broken down and leaked a thick oil onto the floor that was staining the carpet.

Ness was a friendly, outgoing, easy to get along with boy. That is unless you wake him up in the dead of the night. He and Jeff were arguing, and for some reason the cleanliness of the room was crucial to Ness's sleep. In Poo's opinion Ness was probably sleep talking but Jeff continued the argument anyways.

"Look at this mess you made! Clean up after yourself!"

"Ness I'm working on it!"

"Look, I do my thing at night okay? What's your problem?" Jeff was pointing to the mess, which wasn't proving his point.

"It sprayed out all over the floor! Can't you be a little cleaner? This hotel room is really expensive and if my dad's payin' for it I don't want to have to pay a large cleaning fee!" Jeff rolled his eyes when Ness said that. They all knew his dad had cash flowing out of his pants in steady streams.

Poo rubbed his head and began to redo his pre sleep meditation. "Guys I'm trying to meditate…"

"I was just testing it out, I hadn't done anything like that before…I just kept working and working it until it unexpectedly spurted all over the place!"

"Well hurry and clean it up!"

"Will both of you be quiet, You've both done enough damage for one night." Poo interjected.

"Not until Jeff cleans up his mess" Ness huffed.

"I always clean it up, you pansy. Just go back to sleep. It'll be clean by morning."

"No, clean it now!"

"Fine!" Jeff finally through his airs up into the air with exasperation. "I'll go clean it up and try again!"

He flopped a wet rag down onto the ground and tried to soak up the mess with his foot. Poo had to admit it was a pretty pathetic attempt at cleaning on Jeff's part. He tried to move his foot back and forth, which was so ridiculous it took up lots of energy to do. He quickly looked like he was tiring of his cleaning methods.

Predictably Ness jumps in. "You're doing it wrong!"

"…What? I'm a grown boy I've done this plenty times before, contrary to your belief. I think I know what I'm doing!" Jeff huffed as he bent down to pick up the pathetic rag.

"Down on your knees! On all fours!" Ness's sudden ferocity caught both Poo and Jeff by surprise. Jeff begrudgingly complied.

He threw out a dramatic sigh as he lowered to the floor with his rag and began to harshly scrub the slick oil stain.

"You can do it harder than that! Come on!" Ness shouted.

Jeff put lots of pressure onto the rag and moved it back and forth trying to soak up the oil. After trying harder and harder, he finally removed the majority of the mess.

"Now that wasn't so hard, was it?" Ness asked.


End file.
